Dear Jackson,
My condolences on the changes in your family. I know what you're going through dude.
Now, the baby and I, we get along alright, there are kisses exchanged, and pats on the head, and lots and lots of food under the table. Life with a baby is actually pretty sweet.
But in the beginning it's really just sad. Cause, like, you're supposed to be this family's baby, right? And then your mom get's pretty chubby and lazy, and there is a nice large belly to rest your head on. Then your world is turned upside down. Watch Lady and the Tramp, it pretty much sums up how I felt. Rejected. Before baby, I got to sit in any seat in the house, including the laps. After the baby, I saw a lot of crate time. That may or may not have been my own crazy fault. But I think that baby liked the jumping and barking and licking. So here's the thing. Do you want a little more attention than you've been getting lately? Here's a few tips.
1. Pee in the house. They notice stuff like that.
2. Bark all the time.
3. Steal and eat the pacifiers.
4. Destroy the baby toys, only the expensive ones.
5. Sit in the baby bouncer, I know your a big boy, maybe try the crib. I did that once. BIG TROUBLE. Do it.
6. Develop some sort of disease, like a severe skin allergy, something dramatic that will gain sympathy.
7. Kisses, for real, they love that stuff.
Now listen buddy, eventually all these shenanigans won't be so necessary, you'll get over the initial shock, they will remember you're the baby too. Your golden hours will probably be from 8 pm to 6 am. Savor them, they are precious.
Love,
Bella
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