She is here. How happy I am for you to experience the amazing blessing of motherhood. Do you feel like you have been waiting for this moment all your life? Like you woke up when she took her first breath of life? That's what I felt like when I first locked eyes with my baby girl.
Of course along with all of that fullness of love and excitement comes so much fear and uncertainty. Every tiny (and huge) noise she makes, every strange diaper change, each sleepless night can cause so much worry, and insecurity. I felt a huge amount of judgement in my first months of motherhood. The questions...
you do it how? you give her what? you don't do this?
They may have meant them in love, but they felt like a heavy judgement.
I learned to trust myself as a mother early on. I knew I couldn't do it all perfectly right, but I had to at least believe I knew best. And when I didn't have the answers, I would ask people I trusted for advice.
I wish I had asked for more help. Ask your friends to walk your dog, ask your parents to clean your house. Ask your husband to get up at night, but don't wait until you are desperate, because I promise it is not cute to beg...at night...when you're half crazy. I've done that many a time.
I had a friend tell me to give myself grace in the first months. Grace to your body as it heals and returns to normal, grace to figure out this new role as mom, grace for your husband. Grace to that baby who might not want to get all "baby wise" or "baby whisperer" or whatever schedule we wish they'd learn.
On the more practical side:
I know we've had a flurry of texts about pacifiers, but if she likes it, give it.
Swaddling is a beautiful thing.
Take a shower everday, and put on a little makeup, even if it's just before Travis gets home. It will make you feel like a real woman again, and he will appreciate it too...oh and get dressed up occasionally too, and by dressed up I mean out of the PJs.
Drink that water.
I never learned the art of a nap, but those are really nice if you can make yourself do it. And don't wait until you think you have benign essential blepharospasm (involuntary eye closing) like I did. I spent a few weeks thinking I was going blind. Pretty sure I should have taken a few naps.
Get out of the house, because you know it's actually one of the easiest times to take a few hours away, these new ones sleep like woah. You can probably enjoy a whole dinner and actually look into eachothers eyes. That is a great memory Dan and I have,...eachothers eyes.
Eat what you want, there are few opportunities for us to eat all these free calories, guilt free. Just do it.
Soak up every little minute, don't beat yourself up if you didn't fill out the baby book, or take last weeks special picture, because all she needs is you and Travis and milk...
...and sleep...
...and dipes changes.....
No comments:
Post a Comment