I probably have about five seconds before the love wakes up from her morning nap, famished as always. I was just reminded yesterday how important life long friends and letters are. I received two packages this week, one from each of my college roommates. It was super special, since they both contained sincere letters, the second of which brought tears to my eyes. There are not many people that I still know and am in contact with from that period in my life. You are one of the few! Not many people know who I was back then, not that I am so different now, but sometimes it is nice to be reminded of who you are.
I am five weeks into being a mother and was seriously challenged by several things yesterday -- that now is the time to take control of my life and start living more assertively, more deliberately. There is nothing else in life that I am counting down for, which makes every day seem like it's flying by. This is the moment that I have waited my whole life for. It's time to make it look like I want it to. It's time to get out of the house, no matter how long it takes and how hard it is. It's time to make sure that my husband knows how important he is and how much I love him. It's time to draw, because I think I might die if I don't. It's time to go to museums, galleries, coffee shops... to discover all the hidden parts of San Diego, before I have to move again. It's time to go for walks, to have face time with the Lord and find out his plan for the rest of my life and learn to rely on him again, because I can't do this without Him. It's just too hard to do it on my own. I am going to stop and listen to music and read books and figure out how to make my life about more than just the next feeding and diaper change. It's going to be good, really good.
Don't let me forget all of this once my excitement fades. I didn't mean for this to be quite so long, but I have had a ton of alone time, well sort of alone time, lately and have a ton on my mind. We'll talk soon. In the meantime, I am going to go snuggle this baby. She is quite the cuddler!
Love, Jen
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