Choose

Dear Emily,
   You know what is going on in my life right now.  Our family is about to be involuntarily separated for a good chunk of time. Julie and I will be on our own.  This weekend I had a huge meltdown. I am sure that it was inevitable, but I really let myself get carried away. Do you ever let your imagination run to dark places and camp out? Don't do this! I am reminded often about another blogger who chooses one word to be hers for a year. Last year it was "choose." She talked a lot about how we have the power to choose how we are going to react, to choose how we are going to handle situations. It really makes things more intentional.  I have been thinking on this. I have basked in the last month that we have spent together as a family, really investing in each other, breathing life... tickling, playing, dating as a family and as a couple. It has been so life giving to us. It has been a hard year thus far, with long work hours and now this deployment... but in between there have been moments of such beauty. I think that without this deployment, I might have missed some of these. I am taking every day, drinking it in, memorizing his skin, his touch, his smile, the way he holds our baby girl and the way she grins at him with pure joy when she sees him. I will remember these things when times get tough this year.

Things I am thinking on... planning a trip to Big Sur and the Redwoods for his homecoming leave; planning a trip to Europe for the future; thinking about the smell of Fall -- planning on apple picking in Michigan, baking, filling the home with the smell of cinnamon, lighting candles; finishing up this Summer with lots of pool time for my little love; and your trip to see me.  Good things are coming. I must choose to see them.
Love, Jennifer