Choose

Dear Emily,
   You know what is going on in my life right now.  Our family is about to be involuntarily separated for a good chunk of time. Julie and I will be on our own.  This weekend I had a huge meltdown. I am sure that it was inevitable, but I really let myself get carried away. Do you ever let your imagination run to dark places and camp out? Don't do this! I am reminded often about another blogger who chooses one word to be hers for a year. Last year it was "choose." She talked a lot about how we have the power to choose how we are going to react, to choose how we are going to handle situations. It really makes things more intentional.  I have been thinking on this. I have basked in the last month that we have spent together as a family, really investing in each other, breathing life... tickling, playing, dating as a family and as a couple. It has been so life giving to us. It has been a hard year thus far, with long work hours and now this deployment... but in between there have been moments of such beauty. I think that without this deployment, I might have missed some of these. I am taking every day, drinking it in, memorizing his skin, his touch, his smile, the way he holds our baby girl and the way she grins at him with pure joy when she sees him. I will remember these things when times get tough this year.

Things I am thinking on... planning a trip to Big Sur and the Redwoods for his homecoming leave; planning a trip to Europe for the future; thinking about the smell of Fall -- planning on apple picking in Michigan, baking, filling the home with the smell of cinnamon, lighting candles; finishing up this Summer with lots of pool time for my little love; and your trip to see me.  Good things are coming. I must choose to see them.
Love, Jennifer

Lately

Dear Emily,
   I have about a gazillion things to do and about a gazillion things on my mind.  Today, we had a great morning. We went over to a sweet friend's house for coffee and delicious scones with lemon curd. Have you had lemon curd? It's delicious... just one more thing that Trader Joe does right.  Julie played with Gunnar and  he was nice enough to share his birthday toys with her.

It is becoming apparent to me that she is growing up. She is not putting everything in her mouth anymore, thank goodness! She is sticking closer to me, which is nice. She can play with a toy for longer than 30 seconds. Her favorite right now is a maraca that a friend gifted us on a recent visit to Texas.  We picked up a few books yesterday from Marshalls, Goodnight Moon and Guess How Much I Love You... both of which she had, but needed in board book form so she could abuse them. Today, I stumbled across the library's used book sale and scored another sweet book for her.  She carries them around. She can finally pay attention to a whole book (sometimes) which is nice. We are adding an afternoon snack into her schedule. I think she needs it... she always seems starving. I am planning on dropping that nursing session. I am looking forward to weaning soon.  It's time.

Only about two more weeks till Travis comes home. I absolutely can not wait. I think I have handled it very well, but I do miss him something fierce. I can't wait to be held again... I miss it so much. Things that I am thinking about for future discussion... the idea of home, all of the projects I have in my head to do, and meal planning for just a mama and baby (the thing that oddly keeps me stressed out.) Well, I am off to forage through the huge stack of Ready Made magazines that I scored at the book sale for under $2... and ignore the dishes and laundry that need to be done. Talk soon.
Love Jen

Dear Jen, Dandelions and Dirt

Dear Jen,

Today, I'm ready for lunch at 9:45 in the morning. It's the kind of day that starts at 6, there has been breakfast, front porch play, back porch play, snack and nap by 9:30.

I had supermom plans to make the healthiest popsicles known to baby...and I think I certainly accomplished it. Beets, kale, apples, banana, strawberry. I took a quick taste, they taste like you'd probably expect: dirt and dandelions. They are horrible. Since Clara can regularly be found with dirt in her mouth, I might have a shot at these being received as a tasty snack.

Yesterday I caught Clara trying to eat a muddy rock. After we discarded it, Bella actually DID eat it. What? Who are these little ones of mine? How am I responsible for this? I do not model this behavior. But they provide a regular laugh. And as you are well aware, who knows what is to become of Bella's poor insides. She is most certainly still digesting as of late: one rock, one corn cobb, and one watermelon rind. Wish us luck with that.

Last night Clara cried for 10 minutes because I took her sandals off. It was a sign to her that the day was done, and outside play was over. Lately when I put her down at night and naps, she has the last word of negotiation, "wake up, go outside". It's not a question, it's a fact. Thank goodness for the cooperative weather, growing seeds, and ice cream dates. Summer has been a long time coming, and we are making use of every sunny minute of it.

Love,
Emily