Sustenance

Dear Emily,
  The baby is sleeping... I always wish I knew ahead of time how long she was going to sleep, so that I could use the time a little more efficiently, but oh well...
I have a lot on my mind today. A old friend of mine lost a baby this week due to a heart defect. It has been incredibly painful to watch them walk through this, even though I barely know the family. It has broken my heart. Things like this affect me more than they used to. I think when you have babies your heart automatically becomes more sensitive to things. I feel deep pain now. I feel like God is revealing to me the hurt of this world lately. There is so much pain, so much unfairness. I don't get it and it grieves me and it leave me just wanting to run to Him, but not exactly sure how to deal with it all. I'm sure some of it is the impending deployment, the fear, the uncertainty of the times I am living in. Sometimes I wish that I could go back to being a young college student, back when my only concern was my school work. I lived in a little bubble, unaware of things around me, unaware of the pain that people were living in, so many hurting people.  Where do I go from here? What do I do with this tension that plagues me? Find the joy... find the joy in the little moments, in my little darling's face. Seek the joy of the Lord. He will sustain me.
                                             Love, Jen