She's not mine.

Dear Emily,
  You might recall this week when I called you all flustered after my baby swallowed the lion's tail off of her Noah's Ark quilt. Did I tell you I called 911? Turns out that they don't give you medical advice over the phone... and in my better judgement, I decided against letting them send the paramedic out. It would have made for an even better story if I had... After all, it was just a piece of string.

Last night, Julie woke me up with her coughing... coughing hard. I went in and bundled her up and rocked her back to sleep. It was one of those moments where you feel like you should stay there all night holding them upright, rocking them...
This morning she started coughing again to the point where I thought she couldn't breathe.
I tried to get a hold of the pediatrician with little success and was told that I could have an appointment tomorrow. Not good enough! So I walked in to the clinic. Hello, Crazy lady with a happy, active baby here with no sign of sickness.  I love that the nurse humored me and checked her out and listened to her chest.

Over reaction at its finest... but where do you draw the line. As a mom my job in life is to protect her and make sure that she is always safe and secure.

This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that I am reminded that she does not belong to me. Every time that I think I will home school her, lock her in a closet, board it up, never let her out of the house... God says no. He only gave her to me to borrow for a little while. So I am giving her to God every day.  He has way more power to love, protect, and heal her little body than I ever could.

Love, Jen

Thoughts

Dear Emily,
   So funny... Your last letter and my devotional were on the exact same topic.  You are so right... We are so blessed to stay at home with our young ones. Yeah, it can get challenging and lonely at times, but I could not imagine leaving her every day! We have such wonderful husbands, who put so much time in at work to give us the lives that we have. So blessed.
 
 I have a few things on my mind today.  Recently, you asked me if I liked living in San Diego.  I am pretty sure I responded by saying that I like it, but don't want to live here forever. That's still true, but it reminded me to take a second look at where God has placed us for this season.  We truly live in a beautiful, remarkable place with so much to do and experience. I tend to forget about it all when I coop myself up at home with Julie.  On Saturday, Jules and I joined a friend at the farmer's market in Little Italy and I am always amazed by that place.  It always makes me want to branch out and try new things, new vegetables, new ways to eat certain things.  And just last night Travis and I were reading reviews for a Himalayan restaurant in town. I want to try every ethnicity before we move! I am amazed by the city. Yesterday I was driving home from Target and had a beautiful view of the ocean.  Oh, the things I take for granted...
 
 I am also blessed by the church that we have here. It is pretty different from our previous couple of churches.  We love it and as we are getting to know people better, I am loving it even more. We just joined a new life group, one closer to our house, and the woman that leads it, with her husband, has asked to disciple me, so we are meeting every other week. I am excited about what the future of that relationship holds and thankful for an older woman to speak into my life.  It has been new relationships lately that have put me at peace with where God has placed us.

Have you ever been discipled by someone? What makes you grateful for the place you live? How do you keep yourself living in the present and fully experiencing life?

Love, Jennifer

Dear Emily,
     I have been thinking about prayer a lot lately.  In all honesty, I struggle to pray and commune with God as often as I should... and two things have been on my mind.

In the midst of being a new momma and this really hard season that we have been going through over here, I have been so touched by the people who tell me that they are praying for me.  It means so much to know that someone is interceding on my behalf.  With that said, I decided awhile back that I wouldn't tell someone I was praying for them if I knew good and well that I would probably forget or not pray for them as well or as often as I should.  I didn't want people to think they were being prayed for and then me not do it.  Sounds silly now, but I didn't want to lie about it or act like I was in a better place with God than I was.  With this really hard season of my own, I have been moved to pray for others who are also going through hard seasons... things that are probably even more challenging than what I am dealing with.  I have realized how important it really is to meet people where they are and take their needs to the Lord.

A second thought... Julie needs my prayers.  She needs them for her health, for guidance, for  her future, to become the woman of God that she should be.  I can't wait to see what she does with that beautiful, little life of hers.  This world is a hard one and she needs all the prayers and support that she can get.

...and I will tell her that she is being prayed for.

Love, Jen

"The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for.  But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.  And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will."        ~Romans 8:26-27