On figuring out who I am...

Dear Emily,
    I may have mentioned this before, but I am living my dream.  I have always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom with an amazing husband, taking care of my house, cooking dinner, and baking pies.  Now that I am finally here, I feel some pressure, well...more motivation, to become who I have always wanted to be.  I read a little quote on facebook today by George Bernard Shaw. It says, "Life is not about finding yourself.  It's about creating yourself."  Who I want to be is not just going to happen.  I have to take action... which leads me to the point of this post. You can't create something if you're being lazy.  Maybe I'm not lazy... just a new mother... but you get my point.  I can't have an amazingly beautiful garden by sitting in my house and I can't have the best dinners, by making the same things over and over, and I can't have the most beautiful quilts made if I never venture out to try something more difficult. I have to make myself better. So today, I made some home air freshener off of Pinterest to make my house smell the way I want it to and I got out my fabric cutting board to take advantage of nap time. Sure, those are small steps and I should probably be sweeping my house (Thanks to Jackson.)  But that will wait. I'm going to try to stop being envious of other's lives and beautiful things and create my own.
    Love, Jen

Dear Emily, 

   My sister has been in town this week and we have taken tours of San Diego all week long.  We have been to the zoo, a picnic on Coronado, La Jolla to seal watch, Mount Soledad to see the view, a walk at Kate Sessions park, Ocean Beach for a cheeseburger, and some other various driving around to see the sights.  Normally, I would eat up this exploration.  I have seen more of the city this week than I have seen since we moved here... but it's different with a newborn.  

  Over the past few years, I have grown to love being home even more.  I love home.  I love coming home.  No matter where we live, our home becomes a refuge and safe haven from the busyness. It is a place of calm amidst the chaos of this city.  I am reminded often of a quote from Juno -- "I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while." (I love this movie, by the way. Watch it if you have not. I cry at the ending every time.)
    Anyways, all of that to say, I love coming home. I love it even more now with my little Jules. Sometimes, I miss her so much when we have been out all day and she has been in her car seat all the way in the back seat. I miss having her in my arms and cuddling her. Do you ever feel this way with Clara? It seems silly to miss some one that is only a few feet away. I think I'll go interrupt her nap that she's taking in her car seat so that I can snuggle her.

Love, Jen

P.S. My love is out of town this week and I am thinking that I'll hit up the La Jolla library tomorrow. Have you read anything noteworthy lately? Maybe something easy and happy or something that makes me feel smarter...

Dear Emily,
  I am seriously jealous of your sailing date! That sounds so fun and your pictures are beautiful! Dates are something that are so valued now, even before baby comes as our time together is so slim. I am really looking forward to a fun weekend. I have requested to see the sun set and to go see the seals, either a trip to Point Loma or to La Jolla Coves is in order. Usually when we live in a town, we find a coffee shop or restaurant that we love and it becomes a special place for us, but it's different here in San Diego. Our choices are so unlimited, that it's almost overwhelming! It's a good thing that I have 3 or 4 years to try everything!  So much diversity here! 


My to-do list is getting whittled away slowly, but surely.  I have quite a few meals put away and I even have a loaf of apple bread and a batch of cookie dough in the freezer all ready for when little Miss comes home and we need something sweet and fresh. It was my way of coping with a little labor anxiety.  

The only thing the nursery is lacking is a rocking chair and possibly two prints in frames. I have yet to decide what I want, but I have a few things that I am thinking of. So happy to be ready to bring her home whenever she decides to make an appearance. I did finish her rocking horse today and I am in love!

It's hard to see past the next couple of weeks to the rest of the Summer. Our entire Summer is full of loving and learning about our new baby, lots of family visiting, and hopefully some parks, walks, and zoo trips with the love!


I hope you and Clara have a wonderful weekend! I think we are going to start celebrating Fourth of July. Do you have big plans? Fireworks? 


Love, Jennifer

Dear Emily,
It's Monday... Mondays are not my friends and I am feeling especially off this morning. There are getting to be fewer and fewer things that I need to do to get ready for my little and I am feeling more and more ready for her to come... Now! We have nearly finished her nursery. I have a few wall hangings to make and some curtain tie-backs and to find that perfect rocker and then we'll be done... oh and a bookshelf. Only 16 more days till my due date.
     The weekend was especially good to us. On Saturday, we made a leisurely breakfast of blueberry pancakes and bacon. We drank in our time with one another, being extra grateful for it, since we no longer see each other much during the week. We got coffee at a great little place in Golden Hill, South of Balboa Park, called Krakatoa... then when Jackson decided to start being bad, we took him to Nate's Point dog park, where he ran until he was too exhausted to even walk to the car, literally. We made runs to Home Depot and Target and out for tacos in Pacific Beach. The more time I spend in Pacific Beach, the more that I have to say about it. I will tell you about that later. We worked on the nursery and patio late into the night and it could not have been more perfect. Sunday was church and then more of the same. I am so grateful for that man and I love the weekends, so here I am trying to figure out where to start this morning. We'll see, but I think that I'll spend some time waking up slow, me and my little love, still growing inside of me.

                                                     Love, Jen

PS. That picture is of my new hummingbird feeder in the backyard. I have had my eye on it for a couple of years now and Travis bought it for me this weekend. We have already had hummingbirds at it and I love them! I'll send more pictures of the porch and nursery as we get them finished up.